Thursday, July 10, 2008

CBS Sportsline Officially Hires Red Sox Nation as Columnists

What's the matter CBS, were you feeling a little jealous that for years ESPN had the market cornered on Boston bias?

Well, not to be outdone, here comes this beauty of an article by some douchebag named Scott Miller, where he chooses a team of "Anti All-Stars." This is of course something he never defines, and is just a list of people and players he hates.

Oh, check out the front page:

New York nearly has the Anti All-Star market cornered. (Getty Images)
Egomaniacs. Sulkers. Posers. Alleged studs stinking it up (one so bad, he just got cut). This edition of the Scott Miller Anti All-Star team even has an announcer still in love with the image of himself in uniform.

Everyone notice that Paul O'Neill made the 2008 Anti All-Stars? Good. Let's run down this idiot's picks, position by position:
Catcher: Staff, San Diego Padres.
Not going to get a big argument here - the Padres catchers are terrible. They can't hit and can't throw anyone out. I might have considered Varitek here because he also can't hit or throw anyone out AND he made the All-Star team. The Padres catchers as a whole are .188 /.266/.260, which is awful. Varitek is at .220/.300/.360, and has only thrown out 24% of runners.
First base: Richie Sexson, free agent.
The guy just got released, and fought with a teammate. OK.
Second base: Rickie Weeks, Milwaukee.
Yeah, so Weeks hasn't been great. What did you expect? He has a career OPS+ of 95, and he's got an 82 so far this year. The guy has never had a breakout season. He's a little down, but not outside of the realm of what's expected.
Shortstop: Jose Reyes, Mets.
Yeah, what a piece of shit. How many teams would love a shortstop with a 100 OPS+, 9 HR and 32 SB right now, at the break? I'll give you one: the Yankees. In his other article about All-Star picks, of course Miller chose Jeter. Jeter must perform out of sheer force of will, because the slam on Reyes here is that he doesn't utilize his talent and doesn't try and is a crybaby. The two things he's accused of crying about? A muffed play, and being taken out of a ballgame. If Jeter did that he'd be praised for leadership and for being a gamer. Oh yes and keep in mind that personally, I cannot stand Jose Reyes.
Third base: Alex Rodriguez, Yankees.
Has played stellar defense. Has a 164 OPS+, which at year's end would be the third highest in his career. OPS is at .992. Passed Mickey Mantle on the all-time homers list. Oh, but his agent opted him out during the World Series (thus distracting from precious Red Sox moments for Mr. Miller). And on top of that, he's getting a divorce. WHAT A DICK.
Left field: Paul McAnulty, San Diego.
I had to read this one twice. Seriously.. Paul McAnulty? Admittedly the Pads should have started the year with Chase Headley in the majors, but the most "Anti All-Star" left fielder you can come up with is... Paul McAnulty? He'd never played in more than 22 games in his career and was given a shot because of his good spring. It didn't work out. Who seriously expected Paul fucking McAnulty to set the world ablaze with his stellar bat and radiant glovework? Could there possibly be another person who would better fit this team?

What about Manny Ramirez? Miller takes players to task right and left for fighting with teammates (Reyes), attacking team officials (Chacon - he's coming), slumping terribly (Weeks) and acting like they don't want to play for their teams (Rodriguez). Manny has repeatedly asked to go to Boston's arch rival, fought with team spirit mojo genie Kevin Youkilis, has been downright awful at the plate and in the field recently, and pushed a team official to the ground. As I stated in previous posts, I knew the media would ignore this. Here's yet another example.
Center field: Andruw Jones, Dodgers.
Ned Colletti should be blamed here for signing Jones to a ludicrous contract one year after signing another crappy centerfielder (Juan Pierre) to a ludicrous contract. But yeah, Jones has been awful.
Right field: Paul O'Neill, Yankees.
The dude leaves Manny off his list, and then has to go back into Yankee history to pull up one of his old hated players. The reasoning given? Miller claims O'Neill said on the air that he found it surprising that anyone (LaTroy Hawkins) would be wearing his old number when the fans were getting on Hawkins. This is, of course, not true. O'Neill said he had no opinion on the subject. While I think O'Neill should have said more, what Miller attributes to him is a complete fabrication.
Designated hitter: Jose Vidro, Seattle.
Why the Mariners ever thought it was a good idea to have Vidro as their DH for years now is beyond me. Might explain why everyone just got fired though, huh?
Starting pitcher: Shawn Chacon, free agent.
Chacon attacked his GM. Attacking GM? Capital offense. Attack a 65 year old team official/travelling secretary? Glossed-over.
Closer: Eric Gagne, Milwaukee.
Gagne is done. We all knew that. Well, everyone except the Brewers, who gave him $10M to stink up Miller Park. I'd also have considered Trevor Hoffman, who many (not I) expected to do well in the closer's role.

It's fairly obvious Miller has an agenda, it just would have been nice if he titled the article "The 2008 Guys I Fucking Hate-Star Team" instead.

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posted by Mr. Faded Glory @ 2:15 PM   0 comments


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