High and Tight.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Fist Pumps, Chest Bumps, and ESPN

Am I the only one who finds it funny that ESPN and their clone-minded brethren in the mainstream media have decided to make Joba Chamberlain the poster boy of celebrations, as if no other pitcher has done the same - or worse - for years?

I just read a ridicylous front page story all about it, and how it's "ruining the game."

Nevermind that for years now, Francisco Rodriguez has done the cha-cha after a strikeout.

Nevermind that Jonathan Papelbon drops invisible turds on the mound on a regular basis.

Nevermind that Jose Valverde yells at invisible unicorns after each out.

Nevermind that Manny Ramirez stands like the Statue of Liberty watching meaningless homer after meaningless homer go over the wall (don't worry, ESPN is there to reminid you it's just him being him).

Nevermind that Derek Jeter's fist pump after throwing out a baserunner has been shown over and over in commercials and restrospectives and that he's not only called the classiest player since Joe DiMaggio, but scientists have re-animated the corpse of Marilyn Monroe just so he could fuck her zombie and pass the torch.

Nevermind that Sammy Sosa's homerun routine was so practiced and repeated that every video game used it for his avatar.

Nevermind that Pedro Martinez fist pumped all the time after ending an inning.

No, this is now an issue because it's Joba, and he's a Yankee. Yankees aren't supposed to be having fun.

So the media goes looking for quotes from guys who played in a totally different era, like Goose Gossage:

"He's a great kid, but no one is passing the torch today. Nobody talks to them. When I broke into the big leagues, I didn't say two words all year... I'm trying to think of what would've happened if I did what Joba did, especially if I was a rookie," he told The Record. "The veterans would've sat me down so fast, it would've never happened a second time. Truthfully, there would've never been a first time."

Goose, man, I love you to death, but this isn't 1972 anymore. When you started, there was no DH, few foreign players, the Vietnam draft was in effect, the Texas Rangers were in their first season, Willie Mays was still playing centerfield, and the all-time homerun leader was still Babe Ruth.

Times have changed. The sports has changed. People have changed. Do we really want to see rookies like Joba afraid to "say two words all year" anymore?

Let it be said that I am not a fan of celebrations in most instances, except in cases of a game-winning or game tying hit in the 9th inning, or something similar. However, giving a fist pump isn't showing up the opposition. If Joba starts pointing at batters and telling them to go back to the bench after a K (like media darling Dennis Eckersley did repeatedly during his career), well then that's a different story.

I'm not defending the celebrations, I'm simply saying that there have been plenty of targets to go after for years now, and the media have largely ignored them. The article I liked doesn't even mention Rodriguez, whose over-the-top celebrations made a mockery of the 2002 playoffs. Nope: rally monkeys. Grit. Hustle. Ecksteinitude. Small ball. Scioscianess. That's what we were fed.

The difference now is there's a Yankee that can be targeted, and the boys at the big network from New England aren't going to let that opportunity pass them by.

Labels: espn, fist pumps, goose gossage, joba chamberlain, mediots, references to george romero films

posted by Mr. Faded Glory @ 3:42 PM 0 comments

Friday, November 02, 2007

The Dodgers Become a Juggernaut

Check out the totally unbiased and hyperbole-free article by Steven Henson:
LOS ANGELES – Admit it. What for days appeared to be another episode of reckless decisions and bungled stewardship by Dodgers owner Frank McCourt turned into the franchise's greatest coup since drafting Mike Piazza in the 62nd round 20 years ago.
The Dodgers signed Alex Rodriguez? Traded for Johan Santana? Re-animated the corpse of Jackie Robinson to replace Kent at second? Don't leave me in suspense, Steve Henson!

The Dodgers exchanged Forrest Gump for Joe Cool.

And another manager to be named later.

Forrest Gump plays for the Dodgers? Also is that a reference to the character Snoopy plays when he puts on sunglasses? Personally I would think fictional Gump would be the better ballplayer, seeing as how he could certainly run fast, and besides Snoopy would never break a sweat in those sunglasses. Snoopy kind of becomes a dick when he puts on eyewear.

Oh. Torre. The Dodgers getting Torre is it seems the greatest move they've made since drafting Piazza in 1998. Does anyone recall the Dodgers picking up a crusty old veteran that year named Kirk Gibson, who single handedly carried the Dodgers on his gimpy leg to a World Championship (see if you can out-hyperbole that, Mr. Henson!).

Not even going that far back, I would say that there are at least 5 players (I'm being generous) on the Dodgers current roster whose acquisition will have more of an effect on the fate of the 2008 Los Angeles Dodgers than a green tea freebasing manager.

I don't think Henson knows who Joe Torre really is. Look at his criticism of Little:

Little, a man of consummate integrity whose limitations were restricted to sixth-inning pitching changes and a growing inability to communicate with a certain curmudgeonly second baseman, saw through the charade.

Henson believes it seems that a change was needed from a manager with a bunch of integrity and class who couldn't manage a bullpen or an infielder. Let me correct this by re-writing the sentence:
Torre, a man of consummate integrity whose limitations were restricted to sixth-inning pitching changes and a growing inability to communicate with a certain curmudgeonly third baseman, saw through the charade.

But I digress.

In comes Torre, a .605 winning percentage in 12 seasons with the Yankees, a .476 mark in 15 National League seasons before that.

Yes, capital move old sport in bringing in a guy whose career in the National League is that of a losing manager. This is the New Torre, the Torre given credit only for successes and no blame for failures.
"The free agent market is thin, and any team that is trying to build via free agency is bound to be disappointed," he said. "Our young players, we need to maximize their ability. It's also about the individual players we have here getting better. You're not always going to be able to call the cavalry."

McCourt and Colletti did, however, bring in the equivalent of Gen. Philip Sheridan, who any Civil War buff knows was assigned to duty in the West after distinguishing himself in the East by playing a large role in Lee's surrender at Appomattox.

Torre knows the drill. He knows about expectations. He knows to watch his back. Given the ammunition, he might even take the Dodgers to a World Series before handing over the reins to Mattingly.

This might turn out to be McCourt's finest hour, Colletti's greatest get. Just don't let the kids in on the details.

Colletti's greatest "get" is a manager with exactly the same flaws as the previous guy and who has had a losing record when not backed by the Yankees.

If I were a Dodger fan (and I'm not even close) I would lament the loss of DePodesta and wonder why exactly Frank McCourt is batshit insane.

Labels: dodgers, don mattingly, frank mccourt, joe torre, ned colletti, re-animated zombified ballplayers, references to george romero films, steven henson

posted by Mr. Faded Glory @ 9:18 AM 0 comments