High and Tight.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Cowherd Goes Batty

Today, on his sports radio program, on ESPN sports radio, sports radio host Colin Cowherd devoted over 1/2 hour of his program to the sports-related subject of "is Batman a Superhero, or just a crimefighter?"

He had calls and emails which said that Batman has no powers so he's not "super," he's just a guy who fights crime, and people who said that Batman is in fact a bigger hero because he has no powers.

Cowherd then, in summary, says that uneqivocably Batman is a Superhero because of the following reason:

"What's the thing he has around his belt? The batarang? (voice in background says 'Yes.'). Ok, so the batarang. Batman can do things that I can't. He can throw that batarang into the sky, and make that big bat symbol. I couldn't do that. That, in my mind, makes Batman a superhero."

You'd think that by staying away from sports for a while, Cowherd would be able to talk about something which he understands and is able to discuss with some level of knowedge. Obviously, he's as clueless on non-sports as he is about sports.

Batman's "batarang" is like a boomerang. This is why it is called a "batarang."
The bat signal is what makes the bat symbol. Everyone who has ever seen any Batman movie, TV show or read a comic knows this.
These same people would also tell you that the bat symbol is used to summon Batman. In Cowherd's mind, it is something Batman throws from his pocket in order to either summon himself or announce his presense: "Hey, fuckers! You're all screwed! It's me, the muthafuckin' Batman!" This is odd behavior for "The Dark Knight" who is known to stay to the shadows.

I don't give a shit one way or another about this ridiculous argument, but Cowherd could have simply said that Batman is sold under the "Superheroes" line by DC Comics (as listed on Batman's wikipedia page) and thus is a superhero. Argument over, move on to sports.

I swear the more you listen to Cowherd the more you have to question why ESPN hires these people.

Labels: batman, colin cowherd, douchebag, espn

posted by Mr. Faded Glory @ 9:53 AM 0 comments

Monday, September 17, 2007

Yankees' Pitcher Shelley Duncan

It's too bad we don't all live in Cowherd-world. If we did, we could all just do zero research for our jobs, show up and not even read the information we were handed and then start going off on tangents about it.

Case in point: this morning, Cowherd was talking about this story, which of course the Boston media will blow out of proportion, because that's what they do.

It was fairly obvious that Cowherd was reading from time to time, and attempted to be a big expert on this Shelley Duncan character. Of course, he called him a Yankee pitcher. Twice.

Upon further reading, he had the amazing realization that Duncan is the son of Cardinals' pitching coach Dave Duncan, and presented that as if it were breaking news.

Finally he was reading the end of the story, and I'll give it to you word for word. You can tell the exact moment that Cowherd realizes he's a fool. Of course immediately after, he just changes the subject:

"Duncan has become a fan favorite in the Bronx after hitting... what does that say?.... Duncan has become a fan favorite in the Bronx.

BTW, here's the article Cowherd was reading.

Duncan, son of St. Louis Cardinals pitching coach Dave Duncan, has become a fan favorite in the Bronx for hitting mammoth home runs since he was called up from the minors in July.

Nice job, dipshit.

Labels: colin cowherd, douchebag, espn, shelley duncan

posted by Mr. Faded Glory @ 9:57 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Colin Cowherd on the NL vs. the AL

In a rambling, nonsensical diatribe today, Colin Cowherd described on his show "The Herd" on ESPN radio about how the Padres are the best team in the National League but would only be the fifth best team in the AL.

Ok, that's fine, a fair statement and a fair argument, although I don't 100% agree with it. It's defensible though, right?

Cowherd then goes on to blast the NL for being inferior. Ok, again, a fair statement. I'm sure he can back that up.

Cowherd's supporting argument:

"Just look at the All-Star Games. The AL owns them. Look at interleague play. Look at the last 5 World Series champions. The AL is just plain better all around, and it's not even close."

Man, that sure sounds compelling! Except:

The All-Star Game is a terrible example of "league vs. league" supremacy when comparing entire leagues. The All-Star game is, by its very definition, a collection of superstars from both leagues pitted in a game against each other in which almost all of them play. The game is not managed or played like a regular game. The fact that a bunch of superstars from one league have repeatedly won an exhibition against a bunch of superstars from another league is meaningless - it has no bearing whatsoever on the strength of the teams in those leagues. There are 750 Major Leaguers on active rosters for most of the season. Roughly 8% of those are on the All-Star rosters. I am of the belief that the 92% remaining of players have a far greater effect on pennant races and quality of teams and leagues than do the 8%.
All time in interleague play, the AL leads the NL 1,387- 1,317 (.513). That is not a significant difference. a .513 winning percentage is not dramatic. This season the AL beat the NL by a .544 clip. Again, not overly definitive. However, this is the best and only example cited by Cowherd that could even remotely back up his statement.
Last 5 WS champs:
Cardinals (NL)
White Sox (AL)
Red Sox (AL)
Marlins (NL)
Angels (AL)
The Al leads 3-2. This is of course not significant as the leagues have traded off every year. The closest a 5 year stretch could be is 3-2. This would be better used to support an argument that both leagues are fairly matched. I assume Cowherd chose "5" because if he'd chosen "4" they'd be dead even. If we go 6, add in Arizona (NL). Even. 7? Yankees (AL). 4-3.

Is there a point to all of this? Yes. Cowherd is an idiot. Also he doesn't research any facts and I assume most of his audience just takes what he says at face value. I actually agree with him on the premise, but his argument is backed up by mirrors and gorilla dust.

He's not different from most radio hosts, though. Why are these guys on the air again?

Labels: colin cowherd, douchebag, espn, padres, statistics

posted by Mr. Faded Glory @ 2:35 PM 1 comments

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Filling in on "The Herd"

Maybe it's the show and not the host that makes people say really dumb things. This morning Doug Gottleib was filling in for Colin Cowherd on the latter's generally unlistenable "The Herd" on ESPN Radio. About 8:30 AM PST, Gottlieb made the following statement:

"Jumptheshark.com. I'm not usually one to promote a website. It's about how certain shows hit a moment and then go downhill, like in Happy Days when Fonzie jumped that shark on the motorcycle. I surf the internet. I am reckless when I surf the 'net. But I'm not a recluse. Those are the only words I know that begin with r-e-c-k."

Obviously the ability to spell isn't a requirement to be a radio host, but Gottlieb shouldn't advertise that fact.

The best part is that this was all an into to how we'll see whether or not the Colts have "jumped the shark" in their most important pre-season game against the Saints. He goes on to talk for about five minutes about how the last preseason game in the NFL is the only one that really matters, and we'll see in the Colts final tune up how they can handle the run with McAllister and Bush on the field and how important it is that they show something positive to build on before the game counts and so on.

Five minutes later after another segment, Gottlieb then admits "his mistake" and mentions how the Colts open the regular season against New Orleans. In fact it is the first NFL game on the season, and broadcast in prime time on NBC.

Dont worry Colin, your show is in capable hands while you're gone. It's like you never left.

Labels: bad spelling, colin cowherd, doug gottlieb, espn, nfl

posted by Mr. Faded Glory @ 10:00 AM 0 comments